.

There is no such thing as complete forgiveness. Nobody forgives completely.

They say they forgive you. But somewhere along the road, they look back at you, think of the mistakes you made, then let you move ahead of them. Then with one swift motion they stab you in the back so that you never recover. All the apologies you had ever mustered lay choked somewhere in their chests.

If they don’t stab you in the back, somewhere at some point they will leave you.

And that’s punishment enough.

Without you.

You left me so alone,

With layer upon layer of sorrow

All the poems I couldn’t write I tried spitting them out

Like poison from my mouth

All the apologies I couldn’t muster choked my throat.

And left a sourness in my mouth

For as long as I can remember.

And it wouldn’t just go

You wouldn’t just go.

When you have done all the leaving in your own little world

Know this,

I could collapse in pain and I could turn into dust.

And you wouldn’t even know.

Missing you. Just too scared to say. In my little world, I wouldn’t even let you go.